For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

- Mosiah 3:19

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Yes. I'm Gay.

I just finished my prayer, but can't sleep. I needed to share what happened during my prayer. I ended my day, knelt at my bedside and offered a simple prayer, talking about my day, expressing gratitude for the people in my life and the support I've been given in approaching 90 days (tomorrow) of sobriety. I then broached the subject of why I was having a difficult time in developing a personal relationship with the Savior. I explained my reasoning and simply asked for more clarity. I then told Father of my developments in coming to accept myself.

"Father, I'm uh...uh..trying hard to come to accept myself as gay..as your son who is gay...Father, I'm uh...um...gay. Yeah, Father, I'm gay."

Immediately I heard in a response, a playful, yet loving and understanding response, "Why, yes, you are!"

I immediately felt affirmed, but all I could do was giggle. I imagined a playful grin on Father's face as He said what He said. I felt Him laughing with me. He made me laugh, while showing me how much He loved me and not diminishing the pain and struggle that comes with that affirmation. I felt an intense outpouring of the Spirit as I laughed, as we laughed.

Heavenly Father accepts me as His gay son. He wants me in His church. I will commit daily, if need be, to do what I need to remain worthy of His mercy. I love my Father!

2 comments:

  1. I love how God revealed himself to you in this. He is love and he loves me and you.

    thanks for sharing.

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  2. I love your post. It reminds me of a series I wrote about my feelings about being a gay son of God.

    Here's a link to one of them: http://luckynowandthen.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-thoughts-about-god-spirituality.html

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