For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

- Mosiah 3:19

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


I am still having trouble deleting emails from Craigslist. Somehow these emails and their pictures have become such a part of my life. It is hard to delete and hard to let go.

But this afternoon, however hard it was and however much the natural man mourned the deletion, I deleted the emails. Though not until after I took a quick peek at some of the pictures.

Supposedly it was a last hurrah, but it charged my emotions and stirred up the natural man. I figured if that is what is happening, then the best thing to do is delete.

I deleted and felt regret for deleting, this was my bank of photos, this was my alternate life. Now I am deleting this alter-ego I had created over the past five years. It is hard, but I suppose it is necessary for me to reconcile myself to God.

I did delete and felt a small sense of accomplishment, but moreover I felt a part of me died. I am missing these emails, this life I created for myself. But I desire to be found clean before God, thus I hope to be able to "see my weakness."

Craigslist. You are done!

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