For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

- Mosiah 3:19

Friday, July 30, 2010

Flaxen Cords

I am Lot's wife.

I look back longingly. I look back wishing I could have done more; I have trouble letting go.

This morning on my drive to work, I listened to a talk given by Elder Holland on "Remembering Lot's Wife." She was turned into a pillar of salt after looking longingly back to both Sodom and Gomorrah.

Yesterday, after my entry I started poking around the email I used to solicit pictures, people from Craigslist. I have been having trouble deleting this email. I got rid of the immoral pictures from my computer, the porn from my computer, and so forth.

Yet I think longingly on the pictures guys sent me; I have trouble deleting them. I have trouble letting go.

I continue to look back. I pray now, that I will have the strength to not look back, but to look forward. This morning, as I was listening and when I got to the office, I tried to delete, but it was hard. I am now still struggling to delete.

I figure this is part of "seeing my weakness." How can I become strong if I do not "see my weakness?"

I am still struggling to let go. I keep looking back. I will soon turn to salt.

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