For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

- Mosiah 3:19

Wednesday, September 1, 2010


It has been a while. I think I am on the right track, but I can never feel certain. Feeling tug me in different directions, and fear keeps me from doing things I would otherwise be doing.

I talked with my Stake President and recited to him my transgressions. Shameful and embarrassing as it is, I did this to bring me closer to God.

I feel the weight of what I have done. I am coming to recognize the seriousness of breaking sacred covenants. I made a promise with God; I broke that promise.

But now I seek the forgiving hand of Heaven; I seek to be forgiven of what I have done by my Father. I seek the grace of Heaven, however unworthy I feel of that grace.

But coming to this realization has really helped me to see my weakness in a different light. I have come to have low regard for the covenants I have made. I did not fully understand what I was doing, nor was I spiritually cognizant. I made these covenants, because that is what one does.

I don't feel lost anymore, but I do feel estranged from Heaven. I suppose I need to learn how to forgive myself.

The carnal desires remain, I think I can control them. But time will tell. I pray for the strength to overcome.


  1. Congratulations on coming to the point where you want forgiveness enough to humbly confess and desire to forsake. I too took lightly the covenants I made. It has been a long process of humbling and reconversion, but absolutely worth it.

  2. Thank you for your counsel and wisdom learned from experience. It is encouraging!