Yesterday I had dinner with a good friend. He said, "You're more pleasant to be around, you seem much happier, and more light-hearted." I was initially taken aback and a little insulted by the implication that I wasn't pleasant before. But the reality is I am much happier. I am. I am happy.
I can state quite clearly and with a degree of conviction: I am queer, I am Mormon, and I am happy.
Life before me is exciting, while I am still in a process of negotiating my relationship with the Church, I think my place in the Church is quite clear. I belong in Church. But now I'm specifying my level of activity and membership. I think for the indefinite future I am comfortable with being a peripheral member: Peripheral member involves regular contact, interactions with members which varies from acquaintanceship to close friendships with individuals, a marginal role, really.
Obviously, I am OK for the time being of relinquishing the rights and privileges of full active membership. Yet, that is precisely what I need right now. While I still read scripture and pray, I am under no illusion that covenants are being broken, but I'm sure there's more to it than I can comprehend. I am comforted by the fact that God knows the situation better than me.
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